Heart First

I'm good at pretending,
Fooling myself along with others.
Almost believing the show I put on
Never wasting my moments,
From days that have gone
I've been making improvements.

The mind and soul heals
Pain that my heart wishes to ignore,
Cold blooded is how it feels
When all hopes become nomore.
Everyone wants in
And when they get it ?

Your just another who fell.
Heart first into a desired reality,
Replaying within your mind.
Waking up to morning shine,
But sleep alone all the time.
All this sorrow fills the bed,
Creeping up your spine.
You'll never be the same again,
But you pretend like lifes all fine.

Its really just dark and empty
Your missing deep inside,
It used to be warm and happy
Couldn't forget how to smile.
It was all I had
All I needed for a little while.
So when things got bad
I knew how to get on by.
Now its different
Cant tell the truth from a lie,
Stuck with second thoughts
Why do I live for these try's ?
When all I want is a final,
A definite you and I.

Moonlight lovers, tree huggers.
free in the air, playing in my hair.
No ” maybe someday's ”
Or blinds over are eye's,
I want our love to shine as clear
As the sun in those sky's. .

Inside Out

Fighting for love
In my solitude,
Inner battles rage -
Need some peace to get a hold of,
Smiles floating all around my mood.
Soon the war will be over.
_

Love rising like tides beneath a moon.
This heart in me,
Has uncontrollable needs for you.
Follow your destiny and i will guide.
It just isn't fair to be so cold inside,
My poor love's already
Entangled deep in my pride.
_

Instructions with the love I send,
Teachings of the perfect blend.
So within the living flesh
That animates our bodily frame,
Laying your head on my chest
Allowing you to pump freely through my veins.
_

Corruption. . Depression !

The pain, that shortly followed.
A life crying out !
For a new beginning tomorrow.
And that, may never come.

Failing to realize how deep I'd fallen,
All decisions were being made
From deep within this organ.
_

At my weakest I gained the strength,
To put on a life I slowly bent
And soon broke free from.

All this time spent
Locked away in my mind,
Planning out my escape
Into a world not fully fine.

And would only belong to me
My special place.
Something only I could see,
My life at a better pace
Only way I'd want it to be.

It is not a race,
Because in the end there is just death.
You wouldn't wanna live a life,
You could easily forget.
_

Seemed to survived
With lost of regret,
Flashbacks of the lovely days
From back when we met.
I'll remember your lessons
Yes I've learned,
Forever scarred on my heart
Is you ! That girl. .

Safe Sex ?

So lame and boring,

We engage malicious

I'm fucking your walls in.

Pounding out

Our rough aggression,

We make the most

Of every session.

Passion sets the bed on fire,

Every time the flames

Burn higher.

And I Melt deep,

Yes pushing all up inside ya'

Youth and beauty

May diminish,

But we’ll be ashes

When we’re finished.

Moans of pleasure

And guttural screams,

Getting our nuts

By what ever the means.

Point where your thighs meet

Why is it so potent?

Covered in diamond

Platinum drips,

Turbulent motion

Yeah girl, you working those hips.

I've reached the ocean

Setting it free,

Massive explosions,

Your cumming just for me.

High tidal waves, beautiful notions.

Low her sea floor

Holy body of water,

Pussy leaking more

I'm all up in it ..raw

Listening to the moans

Break from your jaw,

Riding down skin

Which you rip with your claws.

Drumming my ear with your tongue

Signing your name at the end,

Tattooed like the gun.

Inhaled deep

As my dick surfed your walls,

Consumed in your cum.

In my self defense

I had to let out one,

To call it all even

We're private part sprung.

This is just one of how many

Endless parts,

That has yet to begun. .

Your Love Changed Me

The things that used to be,

Are no longer a sight to see.

Do you know what you've did,

You hurt me,

Deep inside the casing of my ribs.

Enclosing my safekeeping's now,

Somewhere best well hid,

I'm just trying to relieve this

How ?

This pain, I must forbid.

Wasn't all bad though

There were good times,

They continuously died slow

Masked behind my awkward smiles.

I was comfortable , stupid

And so used to your love.

Advantages ..Taken

Then vanquished with your hugs,

Kisses,

And unforgettable sex.

This love brought a new

Whole being out of me,

You even had me thinking

So properly.

And focused on the bigger picture

Kids, moving away,

Even a ring on one of those little fingers.

I found my self

Lost and lonely without your presence,

Cause it was you only

Who I once shared my

Concentrated form of spiritual essence.

Night till day till another night

Together high,

Gas mask, bong, hooka, pipe

We had all the things to get our minds right.

Those memories will remain

All these things has made a change,

Never will get to see the day

You remove my name

But that's just skin

I linger forever deep inside your brain.

So what's missing ?

My innermost center of emotion,

Four chambers pumping devotion.

Sided left of my chest is the organ,

That has died and remains frozen.

The fact that I'm still alive,

Only proves that I lived, I survived

Through out all of your lies.

It still gets under my cells and skin,

Eating away at layers deep with in.

Why couldn't we have stopped this then

Maybe we really did need this “end”

Because now,

I can't even see you friend.

All we've been through

Our worlds were at war,

The years , I count two

But it seems like so much more.

Lessons learned, embedded to remember

I love and must forget you

My heart, can no longer be surrendered. .

Giant In The Sky

Look up!

That's where I'm at.

In these skies

Spacious and wide,

Smiles as my height

Towered over your eyes.

Shaping everything

Besides sunned outlined,

Self-luminous heavenly body

Providing the light that guides me.

Through the shading in your soul

Goddess of mine

Soon, I'll be taking you home.

If held any closer

On the other side of you,

I'd be.

Already thinking of a way

To get back inside of thee.

Rising oceans, waving seas

Rivers moving ever so silently.

Getting closer by all means,

Got gravitation on its knees.

All the space for all your needs,

Its my universe

So please have the tendency

To fall up into me.

And we'll descend in reverse,

Back up and away

From all that's cursed.

Its just you, I

And some uncontrollable smiles,

We've no worries in these skies. .

Unfamiliar Territory

Its not worth chewing through,

These straps are invisible.

No light, just sounds

Leading to my unhappy frowns.

Lost in thought,

Unfamiliar territory.

The world ..which floats in the sky,

Was now on a plummet

From my highs.

And surfacing to my lows.

Now that's an open mind,

I can feel the breeze flowing through me,

Eyes remain closed

Air seeping through my nose.

Hitting the ground

I Listen to my bones break

As they dance and shake,

Every feeling felt late

Bringing me down.

I hit the top of no bottom

Stuck circling the sun,

Long way from home

Gravity has won.

Not of their kind

Alien nor human,

Blanks which can't be filled

Even if I knew em'

Cursed by this planet

Unable to live free, yes happily.

I opened my eyes to

A short walk in the light of the world,

..Questioning mentally

Was this really meant for me ?

Butterflies'

Its a funny thing,
I've met you and my whole life changed.
A girl I thought couldn't have exist,
Appeared and now controls
My whole mind state.

I'm going through a lot,
Her and this someone
Who doesn't want to go away
Is making this what we would rather not
Have between us ..miner issues

That deceives us,
Arguments that leaves us
Upset after the fact that we've cussed.
Forgetting what's to be discuss,
But we wont let it lead us
Cause what we have exceeds lust.

A powerful feeling
That we both trust,
Feeling it in our tummy's
As our bones turn all gummy.
Nervous to say
What we are enduring,
But its all happy feelings
That's reassuring.
As we looked at each others smile
With no reasons why,
Just standing there
Shaking in our butterflies. .

Grown

Watering your feelings

With this love I possess,
And may it reach deep enough
To GROW that heart in your chest.

Let my mouth do the talking
As my tongue does the rest,
Sucking poisonous sorrow
Straight form its depths.
Freeing your veins
From its dry spell,
Unlocking your brain
From where it dwells.

Let these fingers soften the skin
That has been beaten
And bruised,
The healing must begin.
Cut off all of what has died,
Get back to the roots
And reach up towards the sky
Because all we'll ever need
Is for that sun to fucking shine.

As we grow

Our love will rise,
Bloom in to the air
As we pretend to fly.
Coloring with our love
Until Its not just you and I,
Soon one day
At some point and time
After nine months has gone by
Our love will have GROWN
Into a little child. .

Fairy Tale

And here is my heart,
Which beats only for you.
And I wouldn't lie,
My heart beats the honest truth.
I love you, not for what you are,
But for what I am when I'm with you.
Once in awhile,
Right in the middle of an ordinary life,
Love gives us a fairy tale.
No necessary happy ending needed,
Just the joy and the thrill of it,
The ups, downs and feel of it.
Found your happiness,
Now could you imagine losing it ?
Man I would just die !
Not so literal.
These thoughts,
Just seem to slip out my mental.
Lost the key to a best friend who
Sold me lies, I believed, and was fooled.

That's why you're here,
You made sure you cared.
So I live with a forgotten past,
No longer scared.
My protective shield,
Everything we felt, was real.
And nothing would ever compare
To you my awesome dear.
She didn't have to be the prettiest girl,
As long as her love, was beautiful.
And knowing that she was my world,
My happiness is now, suitable. .

Place In Me

See there's this place in me
Where your fingerprints still rest,
Your kisses still linger,
And your whispers softly echo.
It's the place where a part of you
Will forever be a part of me.
Never broken hearted
Let's connect and be complete,
Nothing like a puzzle
Two half's of unique.

I have you.
A lover and a friend.
You are everything I need.
You are the sun,
The air that I breathe.
Be my vampire,
Indulge and suck the blood that I bleed.
Without you,
Life wouldn't be the same.
Please don't ever go away.
And if you go,
Then don't forget to take me with you.
Let's survive together,
Outside the world of superficial. .

My Ultimate Best

Waring in the battle,

Save you with my soul.

Protect you from my sin's,

And defending off the world.

Left no fight for the win,

But those blows flew mighty when

They fused with the wind.

Pain is only weakness,

Leaving your body.

Let it all go,

Make it empty on me.

I'll take away,

What hurts the most.

Heal each wound,

And bring our body's close.

Feel your scars now,

Understand what your pain is.

Let it all leave in a forgotten cloud,

And remember what my name is.

This is from me to you,

I'm not perfect but I'll try.

I'll do my ultimate best,

To keep them tears from those eyes. .

Eyes Of Light

I didn’t want to admit it,

It was easier to lie.

Hide the hurt and emptiness,

To smile instead of cry.

As much as I endured,

The love melted away my heart.

Sweet strawberry lava goo,

Infected where I was normally smart.

I caught a new breath,

Off every thought of you.

The images in my mind,

Made my blood bubble too.

Chemical reaction to this romance,

Love so tight I wore it as my pants.

What started out as a new friend,

Makes me not want to reach thee end.

I want a 'continue ?'

With the nine seconds like street fighter.

And this will never be over,

I promise you and I'll squeeze tighter.

Every time we get a chance to hug,

Even if every one else is against us, fuck.

We'll never have to worry about them,

I will never believe those lies.

I know all I need to know girl.

I never need to see the sun again,

there's enough light in your eyes.

To light up all the world. .

Ocean Of Wasted Emotions

As it turns out
The wrongs I was in
Happened to be right
All the secrets you held
Couldn't hide from the light
And to think for you.. I would fight?
..A nation ..A army
If I had to
I would've taken any bullet
That was meant for you

But now..
Right now..
That is no longer a thought
Deleting as the words flow
All the memories I will soon let go
And all I want you to know
Is.. My love for you? is dying slow

My hearts broken, I shed no tears
To much pain inside to be weak
I'm strong, smart and I'm unique
Ill find someone who'll defeat
The hatred you've left me with
They'll take me somewhere
You'll never see fit
But by then you'll be forgotten
Away from you, your hearts rotten
From the inside out
Your emotions runs cold
Freezing your soul
Leaving a black hole

And so I've learned
Its life and shit happens
No more scenes or commotion
I'm diving in head first
Back into..
..The ocean of wasted emotions