Hate Love

Feeling the arrival of my past once more,

creeping up on me slowly ready to take over my hearts core.
Flashbacks of the pain inflected,

wounds reopen and the blood is no longer restricted.
The tears that leaks from my eyes,

is no help no matter how much I cry.
I remember the sharp razors that helped release pain,

and how they grew into knifes when matters was insane.
Over time the cuts would heal,

but they could never be compared to the rapid penetration my heart feels.
Each and every time I'm left with my heart ripped,

I'm broken and speechless no words can leave my lips.
Silencing myself only hearing my breathing,

moving slower until I pass out from the bleeding.
Now lost in my mind,

in a place I call darkness where I spend most of my time.
So sometimes when I'm here cold and alone,

I smile because I'm away from the world.
This is the after affects of a feeling so great brought from above,

one day I'll learn not to hate love. .