Saturday, December 19, 2009


Suicidal tendencies
Seeing my breath as I breathe
Emotionless heart of mine
Wish I could go back in time
To protect and prevent from the pain
That runs all out through my veins
Stabbed in the back repeatedly
Still I live with dignity
A faith so deep
I walk a road of needles bare feet
I can't say me myself and I
Because me? Myself has died
So its just I
Caught up in a lie
Believing the hurt would subside
Making me able to forget
The regrets I can't let
Go. .
Things I wouldn't like you to know
Wish I could just pull the trigger
And accept what comes next
My friend did it before
She died the best. .

And every time I cut
I swear it heals so good
Its like a pattern puzzle
Embedded in my skin real good
Inside its blue
But the blood drips purple
Its facts that I'm dead
Still alive means red
Unforgettable past
Its history being read
Cold as winter
Frozen like the poles
Santa couldn't reach me
Killed his rain deer when he wasn't home
Peace, love and freedom?
Oh how I need em
H. I. P. P. I. E.
New age hipster
That's me
Dying for my rebirth
On a place outside this earth
Away from it all
On a new planet real small
Galaxies in a universe undiscovered
Yeah there I wouldn't be bothered
But until then though
I'm trapped from escape
Awaiting my hearts intake
Of a new love that's true
Thoughts of it being you
Icicle of a body left alone
Emotionless to the opposite
That aren't as cold. .

Thursday, December 3, 2009


Waking up feeling her breath on me
Stretched out across the bed
Sweat dripping, arms and legs
Its raining out
Pretty cats and dogs
Hitting the window
Bouncing off the bars
Slowly I begin to move
From under her body weight
Skin so smooth
Soft and delicate
Sitting on the edge of the bed
Trying to figure out what happened
Holding my head
I feel the drip drop transaction
Of something warm
BLOOD ! . . slowly running down
The sides of my arms
Looks like
I got a story to tell
As I remember
Her tying me up
Having her way
For a good fuck
This was new
I broke free
She got excited
By my intensity
We got wild
Biting each other
For a good while
We were apart of one another
Then it got strange
After she screamed my name
I felt this painful bliss
That drove me insane
I gave into it
She was cutting my veins
Cutting her self
Just cutting away
After she was done
I didn't know what to say
Would she kill me
If I was to leave
She continued
On riding me
Rubbing her blood all over me
It became hard to see
Blood still running out of me
I closed my eyes
As she turned into this beast
Draining my energy
She stole my heat
So cold now
Bent her over
Going so deep
Hold on I think she's up
Out of her sleep
Looking as she turned
Nope she's still feeling weak
To the flashback I return
I was on a mission
Reaching for her brain
Putting her in the ultimate submission
Tapping out as she grabbed the sheets
I just kept going as she curled her feet
Legs shaking
Deep breaths
Slow motion
Not weak yet
One last burst
Of energy left
Put her on top
As we finished the sex
That was it
I was gone
My body was dead
My mind was torn
Waking up
Under her body
I remember now
That's the story
But how did I get here
Who is she?
So disturbed
Now I'm worried. .

Saturday, November 28, 2009


Heart broken out spoken taken for a fool,
used abused treated as ah tool.
A scared soul left alone to die,
covered with darkness unable to make it to the sky.
How to survive in this life,
when your heart has been sacrifice.
For someone else's joy of needs,
unbelievable sadness that makes me bleed.
Out the pain from my now cold dead heart,
that you have painfully ripped apart.
Piece by piece making me suffer so much,
as you wait to add the finishing touch.
That will end it all in one big kah boom,
leaving my body lifeless in a very small room.
Yea my coffin is where you want me to be,
as you look through those killing eyes you see.
The awesome work you have done,
feeling completed you have won.
I am dead and gone from this world,
all because of you manipulative girl. .

Saturday, November 21, 2009


Laid up in this room
Naked skin, the dark consumes
To hard to see what hides
Purplish colors form before my eyes
Changing shapes and locations
As they rip from mutation
Finally closing my eyes
Fallen to the calling
Of the sleep I despised
A rush of blood
And a raising heart rate
Just to much to anticipate
These creatures, this place
What a scary looking face
Everything here is just so
Not what I'm used to but even though
It all seems familiar
In some kind of way
This place here, I can't not stay
It feels like forever inside a day
Trapped? I dear not say
A way out is the only option
But how to escape my adoption
Into this world of humans
And ordinary people
Of feelings and emotions
Life or death?
And the sad thoughts I regret
A blinding light
And now I'm back in my room
The darkness is gone
But visions still loom. .

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Beauty Of A Woman

The beauty of a woman
Is not in the clothes she wears
The figure she carries
Or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman
Must be seen from her eyes
Because that is the doorway to her heart;
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman
Is not in a facial mole
But true beauty in a woman
Is reflected in her soul.
The caring that she lovingly gives.
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With passing years only GROWS.
The beauty of a woman
Is not in the clothes she wears
The figure she carries
Or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman
Must be seen from her eyes
Because that is the doorway to her heart;
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman
Is not in a facial mole
But true beauty in a woman
Is reflected in her soul.
The caring that she lovingly gives.
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With passing years only GROWS. .

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Endless nights
Awake and confused
Laying here
Mentally abused
I think the thoughts
Has taken me away
From what's really
Making me stray
From my sleep
And restful nights
Should I speak
On what might
Just make you look at me
In a way you wouldn't
Want to see
But what do I care
If you thought that I'd bare
With the ideas
Of you human nightmares
Flashing back to the time
Of when I could only cry
Before I was who I am
Before I could barely stand
To face my pain
And the hurt
Yes I remember
Even the cuts
The razors
The knifes
The questions
The wonders
The why's
Blood running down
Dripping to the ground
Ripping my skin
Until I finally gave in
Closed my eyes
In a sense of relief
Passing out in a deep
Unconches state of mind
An on going saga
I felt would never die
Deep breaths
"Yo open your eyes"
My ex screamed
As she frustratedly cried
Held me up
Bloody and all
Laying here
Against my bedroom wall
This wasn't the first time
Nor the worst time
Just another night
In this fucking world
"Kill me now"
I sweared and curled
Up in bed eyes open
Body dead
Thinking still
As it lead
Back to
The blood shed
Hospital bed
My girl left me
Is what letter read
Fuck her I guess
So young and troubled
Stitched up and leveled
Back to my bed
Once again
What to do
How to win?
Years later
The cuts disappear
Behind the tattoos
That are now art
A cover up was just the start
Now I'm addicted to the pain
I've finally replaced my knife
May have saved my life
Still can't sleep
But the weed helps keep
My mind off the strain
Of my Insomniac brain.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Special Day

This is your special day baby
Its time to bring the freak out the lady
Lay down don't worry i'll do everything
I'll undress you slowly close your eyes
And let me do my thing
Running my fingers over your soft skin
I feel your body temperature rising
As I kiss you I take my time
To look deep with in your eyes
I move down slowly biting your bottom lip
Towards your neck licking slowly as I hit
Your spot making you moan a little
I move down to your nipples
Sucking and licking them as I squeeze 'em
You look down at me as I leave them
You feel my dick getting harder and longer
between your legs
I move up on you and spread your legs
Feeling the wetness from your pussy
As I rubbed my dick on your clit
You got excited each time I moved it
I started to slide my dick between your pussy lips
As soon as I got in and felt the warmness
All I could say was oh goodness
I started off slow with each blow
You grabbed on to me and didn't let go
In and out grinding when I got deep
Making your toes curl as you grab the sheets
I speeded up with your legs in the air
Fucking that pussy good
I wouldn't dear hurt you even if I could
The pleasure is all mine baby
Your screaming my name crazy
You hop on me for a ride
Oh how it feels so good inside
Of you I pick you up to show you a thing or two
Holding you up in the air pounding your pussy boo
You screaming "baby i'm cuming i'm cuming"
Then all your juices start to running
All over my dick dripping to the floor
But all your thinking is "I want more"
I put down and make you grab them ankles
Doggy style baby you calling me daddy
I'm fucking you good slapping your ass
Making it shake I got you cuming again
In out in I don't wana leave its so warm
I'm not giving you no time 2 breathe
Back on the bed your legs around me
I slow it down so we can enjoy thee
Last few seconds of this sensational pleasure
I'm about to cum I go deep to reach
Your climax your legs shaking pussy dripping
Out of breath bodies weak can't really speak
Time moves so slow as I begin to cum
I kiss you as I lay on top of you I'm finally done
I whisper in your ear "I hope you enjoyed"
You close your eyes and your off to sleep
I could tell you was to weak to speak
I closed my eyes and smiled
Your special day has arrived. .

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Hate Love

Feeling the arrival of my past once more,
creeping up on me slowly ready to take over my hearts core.
Flashbacks of the pain inflected,
wounds reopen and the blood is no longer restricted.
The tears that leaks from my eyes,
is no help no matter how much I cry.
I remember the sharp razors that helped release pain,
and how they grew into knifes when matters was insane.
Over time the cuts would heal,
but they could never be compared to the rapid penetration my heart feels.
Each and every time I'm left with my heart ripped,
I'm broken and speechless no words can leave my lips.
Silencing myself only hearing my breathing,
moving slower until I pass out from the bleeding.
Now lost in my mind,
in a place I call darkness where I spend most of my time.
So sometimes when I'm here cold and alone,
I smile because I'm away from the world.
This is the after affects of a feeling so great brought from above,
one day I'll learn not to hate love. .


In deep thought is where I realize,
in a world like this there's no surprise.
I'm in a world filled with people who are as I say ungrateful,
for the lives they live very mistake full.
Not accepting what they already have by wanting more,
thinking it will bring happiness right through the door.
But its not that easy you see,
all they do is hurt each other with there needs.
Like crabs in a bucket they bring each other down,
but when in need of help no ones around.
No support or some kind of super hero coming to the rescue,
because your friends will have already left you.
Its hard enough surviving in this cold world,
but to live it with everyone's lies is just to much to hold.
I'm trying to maintain all these reckless thoughts in my brain,
alongside all of the stressful complains.
Is like a war with no end,
it just keeps going and going until I'm unable to comprehend.
uncompleted distracted and abandoned,
defeated unexpected and left empty handed.
Is what would be left of me,
if I gave up on life so easily.
I live in such a cold world,
I'm just afraid that one day I will wake up all alone.

A Dream Girl

I never thought I'd find a girl like you,
damn your a dream come true.
I love it how your always there,
by my side you'd show you care.
Every word that escaped your lips would make me feel,
so great inside any pain would heal.
Your not like those other girls,
your special god only made one of you in this world.
When you kiss me I get butterflys in my tummy,
oh how it feels so funny.
I'm in love with you baby,
I'm so glad that your my lady.
We have this connection that can't be broken,
like a chain of words that was spoken.
I can look deep within your eyes,
and see our love traveling for miles.
On a road with no end,
I'm glad we're more than just friends.
You have this affect on my mind body and soul,
that's letting my hearts love unfold.
I never knew of a feeling so great,
that would make me forget all my mistakes.
Of being with those girls in my past,
gosh your even better than my last.
This is the best feeling in the world,
its to bad I woke up because you was just a dream girl. .

Monday, November 2, 2009

Heal Of The Nation

I could feel my eyes getting lower
As my body had gotten lighter
When time began to move slower
The room was now quieter
My mind and body now at ease
My soul and spirit roamed so free
Through the air however they pleased
As if they were stuck in a slow motion speed
There wasn't a single person that I needed
At this point I was definitely conceited
No problems, no issues, no stress
I could finally feel my heart at rest.
Just like water reflects a face
So does a heart reflect the man
That's something people don't understand.
It felt as if the world was off my shoulders
Nothing could hold me back
I felt much stronger

Didn't need to react
I wanted this feeling to go on longer.
Before I had to force a smile
I was so good no one could tell my lie
But now I'm having a good old time
Laughing so hard there were tears, I cried
My mind wondered off here and there
Into different places and other things
My mind didn't care.
Then after when I went back to normal
And everything was done
I took my last pull
Of this pain relieving bud
I was now missing the sensation
From the heal of the nation. .


The feelings we leave deep down
Are left inside to die
Slowly as the depression drowns
My heart beings to subside
Taking over by pain
Affected me deadly
My soul is left drain
Weaken from the hurt
Of a unforgettable past
Which gave me the judgment
That happiness wouldn't last
What if I loved no one
Would I be better off?
Or to love someone
And have that love lost?
Answers never given
To the questions always asked
Confusion is what I live in
Hidden behind an invisible mask
I was told once before
You can be a creator or a victim
And to choose carefully with them
I'm thee creator
And your my creation
A critical example
Of perfection
If I'm the mistake
Your my correction. .

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Your Thoughts

Slowly your heartbeats
And your mind speaks
What your soul seeks
Your lonely body just
Can't be relaxed
It needs the attention
Wants the affection
And strives for redemption
Of that perfect feeling
The one that's caused by
My sexual healing
Flashbacks of how
You road my dick
Up and down
Then there was the time
When you said
Your pussy was all mine
Cold sweats
Your eyes closed and tighten
I pulled your hair
As you started biting
The pillow and
Screamed my name
Relizing noone could ever
Do you the same
From behind you
I went so deep!
I took your breath away
You couldn't speak
My penetration, was exact
Your physique, so intact
Unbelievavble beauty!
Just wait, i'll be back. .

My Love

Let me explain baby
About what you make me feel
And how you have me
Deep in this forreal
I know I be stressing you
I know I make you cry
I know I hurt you alot
But let me explain why
Sometimes I be jealous
Sometimes I be scared
Sometimes I be mad
Sometimes losing you
Is what I mostly feared
Do you know why
I care for you so much
Do you know why
You mean so much
Do you know why
I love you so much
Do you know why
Why your so special
Because your my everything
Because you come first
Because your my wife
And because your my life
I live for you and your smile
I live for the look in your eyes
I live for your happiness
And I live just so you can know this
I want to be the reason
The reason you breathe
The reason you wake up everyday
The reason your heart pumps
And the reason you say the things you say
I know I let you down before
I know I hated you before
I know I disrespected you
I know I lied to you and more
I'm sorry for all them things
I'm sorry for the hurt I bring
I'm sorry for killing the love
I'm sorry for all that I've done
Baby I just want you to know
Know that your better than them
Know that its hard to understand
Know that your all I need in the end
And know that baby I am your man
My love for you will never go away
My love for you will never be a lie
My love for is here to stay
And my love for you will never die. .

This Is For You My Ex Love. .


Sometimes I wonder
If I was to close my eyes
Would living my life
In total darkness
Be any much better
Than what it is now?
Just maybe,
All I can see
Is fake people infront of me
Smiles on there faces
And hate in there blood
All they can do
Is take as things come
Hate when theres love
And run from what they've done
Giving up is all they know
Trying hard, they never show
So fuck them I'm ready
Block out the sun
And bring on the darkness
Let me live my life
I'm alone regardless
Everything will be better
When my world is silenced. .

Died Inside

Sometimes there's things
Even music can't heal
And sometimes the cuts
Aren't deep enough to feel
So whats left for me then
Poetry.. my only friend
No beats or blades
No vibe or pain
To take my mind away
From this world
And into my own
Where its not so cold
But I'm stuck laying here in this bed
With all these thoughts filling my head
I write with the blood that pumps
From my weaken and abused heart
Every drop of blood tells
Another sad story
Of my life and how it dwells
Repeating it self everyday
That passes by
Poetry please save me
Why must I cry?
I can't take it anymore
I've died inside. .

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Kleptomaniac O_O

I've stolen life from death
Happy from sad
Forgiveness from regret
Im lost in my mind
When the shadows shined
Ran away
When everything was fine
Now stuck in time
As life repeats
And heart beats
On the weakest line
Nearest to death? Yeah
Live your lie
Ill steal your faith
And kill your pride
Pick your brain
Poke your eyes
You cover your ears?
Ill rip your throat!
Make you wish
You never spoke!
You'd promise me?
Ill leave you broke
Alone, cold
And fucking smoked!
Burned to ashes
Yeah, dust to dust
Ill shatter your life
If I must
Steal the pieces
And claim my own
New life
A twilight zone
Flip me
And ill repel you
Is it just me
Or I'm a little maniac
It fits me
Better than a fitted cap
I'm stealing your heart
Won't give it back
Hey I stole that too
Ha! Ha! Kleptomaniac. .

Pretty Strange

Short hair
Big head
So cool
Two beds
Laid back
Crazy laughs
Cute smiles
No ass
Dressing the way I like
With out having to try
Is what made you
Visible to my eye
So shy
Very ticklish
Little bitchiness
Always biting
I bite back
And we're fighting
I like that
So high
We smoke
Rubber lips
Enough jokes
Fun times
We chill
Your eyes
They kill
All names
Your pretty strange. .

Monday, October 5, 2009

Plastic Ring

We walk the skies
And people are starring
We ride the clouds
And they start caring
We make up words
When they're swearing
Like please klahblewiggity
Your disrespecting my Integrity
With all your stupidity
There's not enough squares
Their barely even a circle
The coolest guy I knew
Wasn't named steve urkle
I'm happy loving weed
Happy being free
Happy she's with me
And happy that she see's
Everything that I do
Awe now that's to idol
She's so hot
She can be a robot
Take my plastic ring
Its a twenty five cent thing
But it means more than
Everything else did
I don't believe in marriage
I don't believe in love
I don't believe in anything
That's in the three lines above
But I believe in you
And I believe in me
Show me that ring I gave you
I wanna see
Its so beautiful
But not as much as you
And those eyes
It takes me away for miles
And for a million more smiles
Something special for you and I
Purple plastic around your finger
Fuck my life!
When I'm not with her. .

Inside Your Eyes

Dead inside your eyes
Still waiting to come alive
I can feel it in my teeth
Dying for life
Coldness in my feet
Bound for defeat
Good ol' fashion nightmare
A head full of sadness
I laugh at sun sets
Before the moon divides the ocean
You must learn to see
Before opening your eyes
If so isn't achieved
You'll be blinded by lies
The answer to my silents
She's my sound
My feet never touched the ground
Whenever you were around
Felt like an angel
You were my heaven
But I was your devil
You hurt me like hell
Burning my soul
Putting fire through my heart
And then it was cold
My emotions ripped apart
You was gone
As fast as you came
I wouldn't be surprised
If you didn't know my name
Dead inside your eyes
Burning with lies
Rejecting words I speak
With your evil little smile. .

When She Looks

When she looks at me
I wonder what she see's
Am I all she needs
Or just another guy
Who cheats and leaves
Cold hearted lusting these
Feelings for her
Not knowing if its for sure
How would I know
Its just a blur
When I think of it
I don't know why
I don't just quit
But then only then
Would I look so fake
And the "lies"
Would now just take
Her away from me
How hurtful would that be
She paints a pretty picture
With such an ugly frame
Filling in all our emotions
And signs it with her name
So forever more
It'll remain the same. .